Osama and Bollywood

Since everything today is about the death of Osama, what if the top directors of bollywood decide to make a movie on Osama, here is what it would be like...

Yash Chopra

The film will revolve around how Obama once romanced Osama's wife (in a shifone burkha, of course) in the Swiss Alps. And then when Osama realizes how he has gotten between their love, he decides to call Obama and give his life away.

Karan Johar

Pretty much the same story, but ending would be different. And then one day Obama gets a call from her, and she tells him where Osama is hiding. Karan will also name his movie, Kkya Kya Ho Gaya!!

Sanjay Leela Bhansali

Will skip the topic of Osama altogether and make a film on his mother

Ram Gopal Verma

There is no D-company connection of Osama, right?? So sorry, Ramu wont make a movie on this

Manmohan Desai (incidently this will also be the plot of Jeffrey Archer's novel)

The movie will be about how Obama and Osama were born to the same parents and then get separated during the Hawaian carnival or Dubai shopping festival. Once Osama is killed, his military chief brings him the locket that Osama was holding in his hand when he died, and it would have their parents' picture.

Subhash Ghai

This will show Osama breaking into a song and dance routine (Obama nahi Osama hoon mai, …..) and the closing sequence will have Subhash Ghai leading the assault force (yukkkkk)

Ashutosh Gowarikar

Well he will just make it so long that nobody will even bother to watch it

Aamir Khan

Will grow his beard for 2 years and then will go hide in Tora-Bora mountains for the publicity of the film.

Sunny Deol

You know the plot to this one, don’t you?? Well yeah, yeah !! Sue me for being predictable!! Sunny Paaji will go and rip apart all the handpumps in Pakistan until he finds Osama hiding beneath one of them.

Mahesh Bhatt

Finally Mahesh Bhatt will be able to cast paki actors wid a valid reason

Suraj Barjatya

...and Suraj Barjatya will show Bush, Obama, Osama and Saddam as part of a joint family living under the same roof with Manmohan Singh playing 'Prem'

Tale of Three Cities - The Traffic Cop

There is a lot that you can tell about a city by looking at its traffic cops. The way he gestures the traffic to stop, and more importantly to move on, how he chides errant drivers, and last but not the least how he simply stands there holding his wireless set in his hand, it almost mirrors the way the entire city goes about its job and life.

Last few months on the job have taken me around the country, (Ok, if not the country but atleast the golden quadrilateral), given me an opportunity to observe the different ways in which various cities go about their daily lives, and how they influence the style of working of people in seemingly same types of jobs, for example traffic cops.

Take for example how they signal the traffic to keep moving; look closely at a Kolkatan traffic sergeant and it would seem as if he is gently coaxing the traffic to move on just like a shepherd guides his herd; calm, patient and poised. Move westward and the Mumbaiya traffic policeman would seem like a puppet-master who seems to be guiding the motions of the traffic like puppets, confident, business-like and in-control. Move up and try analyzing the motions of a Dilli police walla, and here you will come across someone who is rough, smacks of authority and impatient; it looks like as if he is slapping the vehicles from one side of the junction to the other.

Or maybe you might want to observe them when they are standing idly while waiting for a VIP convoy to pass. A Dilli police wallah, with his khakhi shirt barely tucked into his trousers (which he pulls up every now and then), who thinks he has seen (and will see) a thousand such cavalcades, and couldn't care less, stands there, scratching his crotch and waiting for the whole tamasha to get over as soon as possible. On the other end of the spectrum is the Kolkata traffic sergeant, dressed sharply in his all-white uniform and black boots, with sunglasses firmly in place, scolding errant jaywalkers who dare to cross the rope meant to hold back pedestrians. And then there is the Mumbai policeman who keeps a weary eye both on the halted traffic as well as the empty road, ready to snap a smart salute to the dignitaries travelling in the convoy.

Probably, a traffic policeman is not the right way to go about judging a city, or so a lot of people would claim; But is he not? I ask you, shaped by the combined behavior of each one of us who stops, and passes by a traffic junction, at times breaking the law, jumping the RED light, at times obeying it, moving on with the GREEN light, and sometimes flirting with it.

P.S: Before any motives or intentions are ascribed to the author, I would like to declare that I prefer to call myself a Dilliwala, have been in love with the city (if not its people) for as long as I can remember. Bombay (I prefer calling it that) is a city I respect (I don't think I can ever have a more intimate relationship than that with the city). And Kolkata is my latest crush, just can't stop gushing about anything and everything in this city.

P.P.S. - Didn't write about Chennai in this post, as the memories of the place seem to be fading away, expect the next blog post to be a 'Tale of Four Cities', once I come back from Chennai.

Movie Review - Dabangg

The Good- Almost everything. There is never a dull moment in the entire movie

The Bad - The opening sequence, it would have been better off as a flashback.

The Marketing - Before I talk about the plot or the technicals or the acting, I think it's more important to talk about the marketing of this movie. Very honestly, I don't think Salman Khan has done anything drastically different from what he has been doing for the last many movies of his. Just that this one has been very smartly positioned and established as a fun and light movie, and somehow Salman's one liners or gimmicks no longer look cheap or vulgar. And every possible effort has been made to connect Salman with his traditional fan base, be it through him donning the 'Gamchcha' or the extras wearing the 'Taqiyah' (traditional Muslim cap). I think what Abhinav Kashyap has done for Salman in this movie is equal (if not more) to what Barjatya did through 'Maine Pyaar Kiya' and 'Hum Aapke Hai Kaun'. Suddenly Salman is no longer the hero of the masses, he is much bigger, a true entertainer who makes light hearted movies for wholesome entertainment of the classes as well.

The Plot - Well, to clear a few things upfront, this movie definitely won't win the Oscar for the plot, but then the makers of the movie never wanted it that way. To the credit of the writers and the screenwriters there is never a dull moment in the entire movie, and I mean it, the ENTIRE movie. At places it does gives you the feeling as if things are running a bit too fast, but then that's the idea, to keep the movie short so as to keep the urbane audience happy with the short and light hearted stuff and give the 'Masala' punch for the audience of the heartlands. One must really give it to the director and the scriptwriter that the very same elements that have been used for time immemorial in Bollywood movies have been used again without the audience even realizing that they are being dished out similar stuff.

The Technicals - I think this is one place where the movie is nothing short of brilliant. Be it in the 'Action Sequences' which do give the impression of being a bit 'Rajnikant-esque' in their execution, or the background score where it seems the director has tried to put in a bit of the Scorsese element in his movie, all of it has been used in the ideal manner without giving the impression that it has been overdone or over the top.

The Acting - Well as I said earlier, what Salman has done in this movie is pretty much similar to what he has been doing for a long time, but somehow he just looks more likable in this one. And how can any review of this movie be complete without a mention of Sonakshi Sinha. I would be the first one to acknowledge that she doesn't pack in the oomph (no pun intended) unlike other current hotties in Bollywood, but there is something about her presence on the screen that makes her a treat to watch.

Verdict - I have never seen a movie twice, not on the big screen atleast, but this one is going to be an exception.

P.S.- It is not as if the entire movie is a light hearted 'leave your brains at home' stuff. There is a bit of political commentary in it as well if you listen closely to Anupam Kher's speech. And those familiar with politics of Uttar Pradesh will find that his character bears uncanny resemblance to Lalji Tandon.

Movie Review - Lafangey Parindey

The Good - The umpteen number of smart ass comments throughout the movie, some of which are 'mildly entertaining' at best. However, I am sure the movie will go on to establish 'One Shot Nandu' as an awards category for Bollywood Awards.

The Bad- Abysmal acting, no story, and I could go on and on and on

The Ugly - The 'overenthu' guy who handled camera for this movie

The Plot - Plot, what is that? No honestly, I didn't even find as much as an iota of a storyline in the movie. Though I know that I said that this is a spoiler free review, but honestly I don't know how, even if I wanted, I could have told you anything about the movie that you haven't already guessed after watching the promos. Honestly someone should tell these kids who grew up on Manmohan Desai movies and thought that "Woaah, this is so easy, even I can do it" that it's not that easy to make a Masala movie. Masters of the art, like Manmohan Desai could do it, because they had a flair for it. It is not as simple as putting a Rahim Chacha in a frame and then a drunk Fernandez in another and a mosque in the background of a Matki-fod. And honestly I seriously have to say now that Aditya Chopra has become a 'One Formula Nandu'. Seriously Aditya give us something different, we are tired of the stuff being dished out to us in not so different formats.

The Acting - I think the director forgot to tell Deepika where she was supposed to act blind and where not; She just seems the same throughout the movie. She said in one of her interviews that she has not copied Rani Mukherjee and Kajol for this role, and guess what, she is right. Full marks girl, for your honesty. And well, Neil Nitin Mukesh was always a One-Shot-Nandu, he hasn't acted at all after 'Johny Gaddar'.

The Technicals- Well this is a serious request to all the Bollywood directors. STOP and I will say again, STOP giving your cameras in the hands of over-enthu kids who think that Body-Cams are still cool and would make audience go WOW. Sorry kids, hate to break your hearts, but that's just not true. And what's with this kid's obsession with yellow, I just cant describe it to you, everything yellow is just too bright and really stands out (in a bad way). Looks like this kid really misses his Jaundice days.

Verdict: Well, no surprise here that the movie is really really sad. The directory really tried to help the audience out towards the end when one of the characters says 'Achcha ye love story hai!!' thanks for helping us out there, dude.

Movie Review - Peepli Live

The Good - I think the best part of the movie is when you can't decide which part of the movie really stands out and deserves to be mentioned

The Bad - the "slightly" stretched last reel

The Plot : Even though it may sound a bit oxymoron-ish, but this movie stands out for the subtle nuances that it captures in all it's characters. Be it the gestures and husky voice of the English News Channel reporter, or the attempted alliterations of the Hindi News Channel reporter. Or the hapless and helpless DM-sahab, all the characters have been captured really well...

While some may say that the story isn't exactly taut, but then this isn't really a story driven movie, it's more character driven. While some of them may not really have too much of screen time, but still leave their impact, like the IAS officer..

The Technicals - Though the movie is so good in itself, that your attention is hardly diverted to the beautiful way in which the hinterlands have been captured, but credit must be given in the way the camera has been used to present the vivid shades of life in rural India. However, one thing which I have a grouse against is the overuse of 'Body-Camera' post Dev D in Indian cinema. Really guys, it is no more a novelty, so maybe you should move on.

The Acting - Ohh, the really tough part, as far as writing a review for this movie is concerned, because everybody has acted really really well. Kudos to the director for getting wonderful performances out of everyone, even the 'Extras'.

Verdict : I know the word has been used a bit too often, but I would still call it a 'Refreshing' movie, a must watch for lovers of Indian cinema.

Do Share your take on the movie, would love to hear your comments on the review. Feel free to share this post (through the buttons provided below), if you find this interesting!!

Movie Review - Lamhaa

The Good : Different take on the hackneyed issue; great, and more importantly relevant research which comes out really well

The Bad : Sanjay Dutt, filmy sequences, climax

The Ugly : nothing really

The Plot : Lamhaa is beautiful in the sense that the scriptwriters and director have taken a very bold stand and have not been afraid to offer an alternate view of the situation, quite in contrast to the one that we have grown up on over the years. However, despite all the bold moves, I guess the director still could not resist the filmy 'Press Conference' ending. The thing that is most admirable about the movie is the depiction of grey shades be it in the police force, the government or the military. The aspect is most beautifully captured towards the latter part where the director has really gone where no other director has gone before ( will not spoil fun for those who haven't watched the movie yet, but I am talking about the 'police action' at the very end). I guess after all this effort the least the director could do was to avoid the temptation of a 'Happy-Happy' ending. Another thing which catches the eye, in a not so good way, is how the director has picked up too many things and at times is left doing justice to these various aspects. As it appears, a lot of research has been done in the sloganeering aspect of the Kashmir movement which comes out really well. On the other hand, the dealing of the issue of flesh trade seems a bit ad-hoc and looks like it has bore the brunt of the editor's scissor.

The thing that really pleased me about the movie is that, it signifies the coming of age of Indian cinema, long gone are the days when movies were made at the behest of the government (read the times of L.B. Shastri and Manoj Kumar) or when the government really ran a tight leash on anything coming out of Hindi film industry (read Emergency). We really have come a long way from the times of 'Dehleez' when for the first time the words 'Sarhad paar dushman' were uttered to 'Sarfarosh' where the phrase 'padosi desh' acquired a name for the first time.

The Technicals : The cinematography is brilliant at places, whereas in the same breath it must be mentioned that at times one is left wondering whether it has been over-done to an extent. The area where the movie really scores is depicting that yes, there is an element of ordinary day to day life to Kashmir, that there is a Kashmir beyond the beautiful snow clad mountains, beyond the borders with the 'patriotic songs singing soldiers', there is an element of 'normal' life to Kashmir, the curfews, the stone pelting crowds and all. And another way in which the movie scores over similar movies made earlier is the aesthetics of 'war' and 'counter insurgency'. I guess it's a sign of maturity that we don't find cops running around with sniper rifles in close quarter combats. I guess Indian directors have been devoting time and effort to research more in this direction.

The Acting : My biggest grouse with the movie is Sanjay Dutt. Yes!! you heard it right, the supposedly biggest star in the movie is the biggest eyesore of it. Infact the few places where the movie seems to digress from it's realistic path to a filmy one is one where they try to justify Sanjay Dutt's stardom and give him hero like action sequences. On the other hand Kunal Kapoor is pretty convincing in his depiction of a former militant, whereas Bipasha Basu, in my opinion is the real 'Star' of the movie. She has done fabulous work in this de-glam role. And as for Anupam Kher, he proves yet again, why he is still counted as one of the doyens of Indian cinema.

Verdict: All in all, a good movie, good direction, decent acting on the whole. An interesting watch, I say, for the treatment of the subject.

All in all, 3.5 stars out of 5.

Do Share your take on the movie, would love to hear your comments on the review. Feel free to share this post, if you find this interesting!!

City of Football

I have been meaning to write about the craze for football in this city. It's a welcome change for one coming from the single sport crazed North. I mean in which other place would you find flags of Brazil and Argentina hanging side by side at not only the major intersections but also streets and paadas.

Very honestly I dont think I have words to do justice to the enthusiasm that this city has about football, but as you might know that there was power failure in Kolkata a couple of days back, so this is what appeared in 'The Telegraph' following the day of power cut-

"...no soccer World Cup match was scheduled today. Else, even though the brunt of the power cut would have preceded the 7.30pm kick-off, it could have triggered panic, public fury and perhaps even street blockades."

City of Bandh

Oh it didn't take long for the City of Joy to give me my first 'bandh' experience. Apparently the bandh was to protest the hike in fuel prices which would have had an adverse effect on the livelihood of the poor, or so the organizers of the 'bandh' claimed.

I got my first warning from the caretaker at my place, who advised me to make suitable arrangements for the following day, as in his words, "Gadi par log announce kar rahe the, kal band rahega, aap thoda dekh lijiyega".

Honestly I didn't think too much about it, because I have not actually seen 'bandhs' in my life. Either there have been outright curfews at the time of communal riots or news report that some 'bandh' happened in some part of Delhi, and my reaction to that normally was, "There was some bandh, really"?? Or there was the whole CNG fiasco in Delhi, but even that didn't affect my life too much, it just meant making alternative arrangements to reach school.

But, I guess this was an important part of education as an Indian citizen that I had missed out, so Kolkata was all set to teach me a thing or two about bandhs. First thing that I noticed on the day of the bandh was the absence of traffic on the road. It almost seemed that the "Yellow Sea" (kolkata cabs) had gone into a low tide. I guess that is the first casualty of any bandh, transport.

After waiting for quite some time, and walking quite a distance I finally managed to hail a cab, I was quite surprised that the guy did stop, because I could see that there was another person sitting with the driver, who I later found out was riding shotgun because of the dangers involved in venturing out on a 'bandh' day. After I struck up a conversation with the cabbie, he told me how he had seen another cabbie being slapped for daring to take his car out on a bandh day and that was why he had persuaded a friend of his to ride alongside him. He also had a thing or two to say about the organizers of the bandh and how much they cared for people like him, but I guess all that can't be mentioned here. And yes, I was charged a 'risk premium', 5 Rs. over and above the meter fare.

Infact the few taxies that were plying were quite an interesting sight. One of them had pasted a printout declaring "Hospital" on it's windscreen. And another one had it's driver waving a red cloth out of the window, I am not sure if that was to signify an emergency or to show his solidarity with the Comrades.

Anyways, as the evening progressed the "risk premium" increased, as on my way back I was charged 10 Rs. over the meter fare. This time I was told windscreens had been smashed in Northern part of the city. I also learnt that insurance companies don't cover damages that occur on days of 'bandh'.

Well that was it, I didn't get to see a lot of 'action' on the bandh day, but I guess that is either because the Commies are down and out, or I live in a part of the town that is relatively peaceful or who knows, maybe both.

So that was my first real bandh experience. If any of you have had an interesting "bandh' experience, do share.

City of Joy

Oh Well, it's been a long time, hasn't it. Havent found the time to update you guys about the City of Joy!! Hmmm, so about Kolkata, where do I start...Oh yes, the elections...

If you have been reading your newspapers regularly then you would know that Kolkata (and some parts of WB) municipal elections happened on 30...Very honestly I never thought anybody would care this much about their municipality...Ok, we do abuse them when there is water logging during the monsoon, or when the roads are dirty, but I think that's it...But not here in Kolkata, Kolkatans take their politics very seriously, no matter if it's municipal elections...

And so while one day the whole office compound was festooned with red banners, the next day it was Didi's turn...

And that's not all, the worst part of it is when people start talking about politics, that's the worst, because that makes you realize how ignorant you are, because you dont know the name of the mayor of the city where you come from...

But still the seriousness of the whole affair hadn't dawned on me (not even after seeing BSF jawans in full combat fatigues for MUNICIPAL ELECTIONS), so I still ventured out on the streets, and too my amazement, they were empty, not just the streets, the roads were empty too, and if that was not all, the malls were shut, the cinema halls were shut...And in case anyone has lost track, all this for municipal elections...

Ohhh and yes, I have traveled in the Kolkata metro, and I am sure you would think that I am making this up, but the moment I saw the first metro pulling up in the station, I was instantly reminded of 'Mile Sur Mera Tumhara' :)

Well, that's all about Kolkata for today, stay tuned for more updates on the City of Joy

Maxximum City - II

Airtel Ahoy!!! Finally after having been in the city for a couple of days, I finally spotted an Airtel board. However the signal still eludes me most of the time. Interestingly, I just got the idea of having a look at where exactly are Airtel's subscribers in Mumbai located, I am sure I wouldn’t find any near Santacruz.

Ok, now all the Dilliwaalas here is a warning for all of you before you come down to Mumbai. Somehow, all the Bombaywallas think that we Dilliwaalas don’t like this city and remain biased towards our own. And to be honest, it is true to some extent, some of us proud Dilliwalas are a bit too snobby to even acknowledge the existence of world outside of NCR.

However speaking for myself, I loved the place. Agreed, that the city is no match for the wide boulevards of Rajpath or the luxury of the HUGE malls at Saket, but come on the place has its own merits and there are more reasons for loving the place than not. And forgive me for harping on the old theme again and again, but the Auto and Taxiwallahs of this place have totally won me over. I mean a couple of Autowallahs who probably didn’t want to go to my destination were almost apologetic about it. And I couldn’t imagine for the life of me, that I would get in a taxi, reach my destination and pay 14 bucks. The Bombay auto and taxiwallahs have spoiled me and I am not sure how would I manage with the Delhi autowallahs if and when I am there.

Moving on from my obsession with the autowallahs, the week here was spent here (other than going through the induction) doing the touristy stuff. After all how can someone who has read Shantaram give Haaji Ali a miss (though one shouldn’t have missed Dharavi, but honestly I wasn’t going to be that enterprising on my first trip to Mumbai). And just to keep Gods everywhere happy and in good spirits, there was the trip to Sidhivinayak as well.

To be very honest, Haaji Ali was a kind of disappointment while I was going towards the shrine. But then I discovered the magic of the place on my walk back to the mainland. That is the magic everybody talks about. It is phenomenal, waves lashing the path, the lights of the city in the distance, it's amazing for lack of a more suitable word in my vocabulary.

And unlike others of my tribe (read North Indians) I am not that crazy about beaches, it hasn’t got anything to do with me being afraid of water or not liking beaches as such. It's just that I have seen a few beaches and don’t go as wow about them as the typical Mumbaikar expects a Dilliwala to.

And how could a blog on Mumbai be complete without a mention of the famed local trains. Well, I think the locals and the experience was best summed by someone who said "Locals are meant only for people who were born here and are used to them, for the rest of us, we are not fit for it" Well I can tell you something from my own experience, Mumbai locals are definitely not for the faint-hearted.

To play it safe, I decided to test out the local by going against the direction of office traffic. So most of my travel on the locals was from Santacruz towards Churchgate in the evening while timing the return so that it would be late enough to miss the office rush on the opposite side. And well, I got a first idea of what people mean when they talk about the locals and the rush. When we use the word crowded for Delhi Metro we have no idea what crowded is, that is the non peak rush traffic in the opposite direction of Mumbai locals.

And I have no shame in admitting that one day when I was returning early enough to encounter the last vestige of office rush, I couldn’t manage to get inside the first train that came. So that’s Mumbai local for you.

With this I think I am quite an authority on Indian public transport system. Read credentials below...

Chennai local train- check

Chennai local bus - check

DTC bus - check

Delhi Blueline bus - check

Delhi Metro - check

Mumbai local - check

Next up : Kolkata Metro and tram

Adjustment

This not so complicated word is probably the second word that we Indians have adopted as one of our own after 'Sorry'.

No matter which part of the country are you in, you will find people using it in one form or the other, mixed with their local language. But this is not what this post is about. It is much more personal.

It's about love, it's about loss, it's about grief, it's about not wanting to grow up, it's about yearning for the carefree days.

The trigger for this may seem trivial to you, but for me it's everything or everything over the past two years. Two years back I took one of the best decisions of my life. In case any of you are wondering, no it has got nothing to do with joining FMS or MBA.

It's about buying a Dell XPS (Xtreme Performance System) M1330. Fans of Big Bang Theory will be familiar with this as the make of Sheldon's laptop.

It's a sleek piece of machinery, even after two years a cutting edge demonstration of technology, and more importantly an integral part of my life over the course of past two years. So much so, that I think I love it more than anything or anybody ever!! You have to understand that for me this wasn't just another computing device, it was my partner (I spent bulk of my time with it), it was my newspaper, it was my entertainment, it was my playmate (nothing else, just referring to Counter Strike).

Not that our stay together was all rosy. Not by any stretch of imagination. Well as with all things gorgeous, this one was a delicate darling too. So fragile, that we had to seek external help quite often. Be it the couple of times when my roomie dropped it (I think he was jealous of it) or when I myself got careless. But the result was the same, a brief period of loss which made me fearful of the question, 'What when we are done?', 'What after it?'.

Well, I simply kept pushing these questions under the carpet, just because thinking about them wasn't very comfortable for me. But then the day, even thinking about which was painful for me arrived quite abruptly. We have been separated (or atleast the process has been set in motion).

I would now be using a sturdy, business like Dell Latitude E5500 and bid goodbye to my XPS. And this brings me to my topic for this post, adjustment.

I know this is a more practical choice, a smarter one. I can't expect my XPS M1330 to withstand the rough and tumble of a sales job. But this is my grouse. Why do we have to be practical? Why do we have to make compromises or to put it in other words

'Why do we have to adjust'?

Why can't we simply be carefree, just like we were back when we were kids. When we used to drink Sugarcane juice by the road side without caring for the infections and stuff, when we didn't know what 'Jaundice' and 'Hepatitis' were. When we simply lit crackers on our palms and fist. Why can't we just stomp our feet and act 'unreasonable'?

Maxximum City - I

Whosoever I have told this has expressed surprise and shown amazement, so I perfectly understand your reaction to this.

This is my first ever trip to Mumbai.

Though I was here once earlier, but that was a transit stop on my way to Trivandrum from Delhi. And that time I thought the plane was going to crash in the slums, so this time I was prepared for the sudden descent of the plane into the slums.

To my utter disappointment we got off the aircraft using an aerobridge, otherwise I had plans to get down on the tarmac and kiss the land of Shantaram ala Pope John Paul II.

Well I got out of the airport and the first thing that hit me was that this place smells so much like Chennai. I know some people will take serious offence to this but I don’t know what it is, maybe it is the smell of the sea or the fish or whatever but the two cities smell pretty similar to me (and I love both of them).

Ok, now the first thing I noticed when I got on the road here in Mumbai were the color of the autos. For a Dilliwala who is used to seeing CNG (read green) and yellow autos, the Kala-pilas of Mumbai stand out. And after that it was the multiple shapes and sizes of taxis. From an Alto to a Wagon R to the familiar boxy Ambassadors, all of them are here. Further down the road I noticed something which might sound a bit silly, but I think the flyovers here in Mumbai are miniaturized versions of the ones back in Delhi. Compared to the huge ones at AIIMS and Dhaula Kuan the ones here seem a bit tiny :)

Oh and yes, now the most interesting part of probably any city. I asked an Autowallah if he will go to my destination, he said yes and my next question was "Kitna??" Old habits (formed after years of haggling with Delhi autowallahs) die hard. He looked at me puzzled and indicated towards the meter as if telling me what it was and said "Meter!!"

The autowallah didn’t know the exact place where I needed to get down so he asked a cop, and boy the Mumbai cops have way cooler jeeps than Delhi Police, sky blue camouflage and all, they are simply awesome. Also, the cop who we asked for directions asked the autowallah to take a left from the next junction!!! Now you may not find anything weird with this, but for me this was!! I had half no no fully expected him to say "Next naake se left lena" after all that’s what the cops in the millions of Mumbaiya films did, how could he disappoint me like that.

Well after that I met up with Uddu and Kalle and we went to Hiranandani and again I couldn’t help but notice how cramped this city is and how effectively they make use of space here unlike in Dilli where probably the luxury of space has meant that it goes wasted because of lack of planning.

A friend of mine (I cant remember who) had pointed out something a few days back to me, he had said that in Mumbai all the shops have signboards in English as well as Hindi and to my surprise he was absolutely right. Even places like Levi's and Westside had their names displayed in both the languages. I have no clue about the reason for this, can someone enlighten me??

Another thing which I noticed or rather was staring at me in the face, was how the whole city is swamped by Vodafone hoardings. In light of this when I tried to remember if there was such a thing in Delhi, I realized that maybe Airtel dominates others but not to the extent that I saw here.

P.S. I have not even seen 1/10 of the city, these are just my first observations based on the few areas that I have been ot in a matter of few hours.

P.P.S. The most practical advice regarding living in Bombay Mumbai was given by Paro. She advised me to do away with the North Indian habit of calling everyone a 'Bhaiyya' to avoid getting myself in any trouble.

P.P.P.S. Vishal Dadlani, of the music duo Vishal-Shekhar fame was travelling on the same flight as mine, and I immediately noticed him, knew who he was, as in him being part of the music duo, and that he had sung Dhan-Te-Nan but couldn’t recall his name :O

City of Djinns

I have only spent 6 years out of 24 in Delhi, but I consider myself a 'Dilliwala'. So, this is about Dilli.

This is not a travel guide, this is not a food guide, atleast that I am sure of. Then what is it, well this is something I cant answer, probably this is about Dilli as a city, its people, its monuments, its sights, its delicacies and I don’t know what else. This blog will not discuss unheard of places which you can visit, nor does it claim to dig out 'secret' restaurants and hang out places.

My credentials : I have been visiting Cousins in Mayur Vihar for as long as I can remember, lived in Janak Puri for 4 years, spent two of the best years of my life in North Campus and that is the reason why I attempt to write this.

Though I was born here, my first memories of the city are those of visiting my cousins from any of the numerous smaller cities where I spent the most of my growing up years. Those were the days when 'Jamuna Paar' was this godforsaken area and Mayur Vihaar was this hard to reach place, that you really had to convince the auto wallah to go there, tell him that he would easily find a 'sawari' back from Patpadganj. That Mayur Vihaar, which was like a self sufficient 'cluster' at that point of time, but for me that was Delhi. With its wide roads, DDA park next to Sanjay Gandhi lake, with loads of cars and buses on the road, that was my Delhi.

Then when I finished class IX my family moved to JanakPuri. Now this was a totally different Dilli, much different from the one I had grown up visiting. This was the Dilli where there were really loud neighbors next door, the Dilli where arguments over illegal construction and parking space were part of the daily routine. A 'Dilli' where Punjabi is everybody's first language, and you end up learning parts of it, whether you like it or not.

But the biggest shock for me was that in Dilli powercuts were as much a part of daily life as they were in all the smaller cities that I had lived earlier. For me Delhi (Mayur Vihar) was supposed to be this place where power cuts just didn’t exist).

This was the Dilli where I spent some of the most 'unhappening' years in the life of an Indian middle class teen. The ones where 'abhi career ke liye padhai kar lo, baad me sab set ho jaega'. And then when things got 'set' (or so I thought) I moved out of Delhi.

And the 'Vanvaas' lasted a decade less than that of Lord Ram, I was back here in 2008, and back I was in North Campus. This Dilli/Delhi was as different from my earlier Delhi/Dilli as Pasta from Tandoori Chicken as Subway from Karim's, as Metro from Blue Line buses. This was the Delhi of nightouts, of metro rides from Vishwavidyalaya to Rajiv Chowk,of drives up and down the ridge, of going to ComeSum at Old Delhi just for the heck of it, of BBG rides (Borrowed Bikers' Gang - that's what we called ourselves), of going all the way to Gurgaon for college parties.

These are the Delhis/Dillis that I am going to write about in posts up ahead.

Life in a Cocoon

Living the past couple of days without my laptop has given me loads of time at my disposal. The first few hours without it were spent in frustration and anger. Then came the tortuous and agonizing wait for it to get repaired. And this led me to the question, are we dependent so much on technology that we probably can't expect to live meaningfully without it?

I take pride in calling myself one of the 'impatient generation'' or a self proclaimed 'geek god'. the first thing that I do when I get up is check my mail on my phone through our wi-fi connection, I get my news through my google reader, I almost totally shun non-interactive media like TV. I sometimes wish my mom and dad were more net savvy than they are now, so that we could just chat up anytime than calling each other up ( my dad already has a Gtalk and orkut account), I can't wait another day for 3G to be introduced in india coz my fring connection is not supported over my gprs which puts me out of touch with my chat buddies while I am commuting which is on an average 20 mins per day. I don't like standing in lines to pay my bills, so I pay my power bill online using my credit card (add-on courtesy dad), my phone bill payment is even easier, its done through my m-check, and yes my music, since I dont have the moolah to buy the latest sony wired player, I am making do with my e 63 over my bluetooth headset, and how could I forget what has led to all this, microsoft windows 7 ( which btw ankita is advising me to sue) which was responsible for crashing my computer and setting me back by quite a lot. Infact Paro is of the opinion that all this happened coz of me trying too many things and I chided her for speaking like my dad.

And now that my laptop wasn't around it just made me wonder how pathetically I have become a slave of technology and how much it has changed my life (and I am sure there are thousands like me throughout the world).

I remember how as a young kid, I happily chatted with people thrice and even four times my age whom I met on several of the train journeys. And now, I am content with my earphones in my ear, oblivious to the world outside. And I am definitely not an exception, there are hundreds like me who I see everyday in Delhi Metro...so much for being a 'connected' generation. We say technology is helping to bring down barriers, that it is making the world flat, the question that we need to ask, is it really??? Or is it raising walls taller than the physical one that once stood in the city of berlin, I feel more 'connected' with people hundreds and thousands of miles away, but wonder why the middle aged lady sitting next to me in the metro cant just mind her own business.

Where are we headed, is this world just going to become a huge elevator, where all of us despite being so close physically just ignore each other's presence and avoid eye contact. Since when did pretending that people around don't exist become good manners???

P.S. This blog entry was written on my phone with my earphones firmly in place, while on my way to collect my laptop from Nehru place, with the autowallah trying to make himself heard.

P.P.S. In all probability all these would be forgotten when I get busy with my laptop and my all too important digital life, but in case any of this strikes a chord, do share ur views.

Times have changed!!!

Well, at the risk of sounding a bit dramatic, I must say that last night was a bit of an eye opener for me. A lot of pre conceived notions got cleared up and my respect and faith in the "system" and the police force went up a notch.

Now the reason why I am writting this is just because I think its all right for us to criticize the "system" when it doesnt work properly, but I believe its also our duty to give credit where it is due.

Anyways, last night, me, Kalle and Puri were coming back from Nirula's towards home (the flat that we have shifted to in Mall Apts), we have christened it as L Niwas. Anyways when we were waiting at the traffic signal, a Maruti Esteem jumped the red light and hit a rickshaw at pretty high speed.

The impact was quite ugly, the front wheel of the rickshaw got twisted in a heap of metal, the rickshaw wala also got injured pretty bad. The guy in the Esteem didnt bother to stop, even when he was given a chase by the others he just swerved and sped away. We rushed to check on the rickshaw wala, Kalle helped him to the side of the road, while me and Puri tried moving his rick away from the middle of the road.

What was really disappointing was nobody bothering to stop to allow us to move the Rick out of harm's way. At this moment Puri said "This is Delhi for you". Somehow we got the rick safely moved to the side of the road with the help of another rickwalla. I had taken the number of the vehicle. Me and Puri looked at each other. We werent sure whether we wanted to call the police. Guess, this was because of our middle class upbringing where we are taught to stay out of trouble, to turn a blind eye to matters that doesnt affect us.

Somehow it didnt feel right, it just didnt. I called up 100, not 100 percent sure of what to expect. A gruff male voice answered, I simply told him that an accident has happened close to University Metro Station, and there is an injured guy. He said he would send someone, but somehow I wasnt really convinced. I dont know why, but I wasnt.

We waited, getting convinced by each passing second that nobody was going to come and this is how things work. I kept telling Puri that these calls get logged, he will have to send someone, but probably that was more to convince myself than him. But after about 3-4 minutes we spotted a PCR gypsy, it was a reassuring sight, that yes things arent that bad, it isnt the same country that my parents grew up in.

The gypsy came close, an officer got down, we gave him the details of the car, they took it down, they asked the injured Rickshaw wala whether he wanted to go to the hospital, the rickshaw wala was probably in shock and was scared too. So they decided to take him to the hospital.

They went away, and we came back home. But this wasnt this simple. It was a day which changed my perception entirely of the police and the "system". I know there are people who would have had not so pleasant experience or rather some would even accuse the police of even more cruel things but the point being, like any other organization even they arent perfect. But that doesnt mean that we totally give up on them.

I know for a fact that the next time something happens, I would not hesitate before calling up 100.

Kush Mishra (22nd June 1986- 21st May 2009)

When I said that I would be writing about my college days and friends, never for a moment did I realise that I would be writing something like this. I am sure most of you read that little piece in the papers about a month back, talking about a KSRTC bus accident. The bus was on its way from Bangalore to Pune carrying young Infy engineers. Five of the young techies were killed in the accident. One of them Kush Mishra.

I know it's kind of customary to say nice stuff about people once they aren't around anymore. But if there was one person in this world who everybody would have described in the same words, it would have to be Kush Mishra. He was my batchie in first year in VIT. Oh GOD, the amount of fun we had. Be it making life hell for the young research assistant Ms. Sona. (Kush had quite a talent for making paper planes.) Or the time when four of these guys; Luv (Kush's twin bro), Varun Jain (or Sharabi/Vodka as he came to be known after that trip, Akash (came to be known as 'Saaki' as a fallout of that trip) and Kush went for that Bangalore trip of theirs. That was a trip which I feel like I shouldn’t have missed. What did these guys not do, Sharabi drank for the first time in life and called up his dad, crying at the same time, or running across railway tracks with trains running at top speeds. Such was the kind of daring spirit you developed when you were around with Kush.

The kind of silly things that you always remember when you think about a person, it was Kush's room where I heard 'Summer of 69' the first time, the first episode that I watched of 'Friends'. The guy was a rockstar.

And when I think of Kush Mishra how can I forget the legendary "East UP-West UP" debates which were a huge hit. He was the one who started it off, initially just to make fun of Akash who hailed from Meerut, but it went on to become such an awesome Bakar topic.

Or the time when we guys went for Aero India 07. Man what fun it was. And not just looking at those awesome beauties in the air, or on the ground, but the journey back was such a thrill. That being the period when the Kaveri verdict had been announced, the bus service to Tamil Nadu from Bangalore had been halted, and somehow we managed to get ourselves seat on a AP bus to Chitoor and from there got ourselves a bus back to Vellore.

Those endless Raptor game sessions in his room , or his obsession with 'Mausiji' and her friends, nothing can be forgotten.

The guy knew how to bring life to any party. Never missed a chance to pull anyone's leg, but nobody minded it in the least bit. This was what hostel life was all about. Was simply crazy about girls from the junior batch. I can never forget how Gupta and I pulled a fast one on him by chatting with him through SMS pretending to be a girl from a new number that a friend had got himself, or the time when he and I pulled a fast one on one of the guards at VIT who thought it was their God sworn duty to prevent ragging.

And the best part about him was there was no other side to his personality, I mean whenever I (or everybody else for that matter) met him he was his usual self. Be it the day when the results were announced (and he got a couple of backs) or the day he got through Infy (everybody was pleasantly surprised, including him). Life for Kush Mishra was not to be taken too seriously and this was why everybody liked him so much.

I wouldn’t write here that he was the most understanding friend of mine, or the one I went to when I wanted a solution to my problems, absolutely not. He wouldn’t take any of that bullshit. He was the one I went to when I wanted to get away from my problems and forget about them, he was the one I went to when I wanted some fun.

Kush isn't with us today, but wherever he is, I am sure he is still making people laugh with his raunchy jokes or his antics.